So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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