I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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