the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
