Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Is Oprah even human
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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