she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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