I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
How's work?
Spinning.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This is my gift to your gina
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
