the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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