Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize