Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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