also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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