My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize