I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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