So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
