hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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