well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
