But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm really busy with my period
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