I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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