Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize