hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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