I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
