dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You pole danced in your parka.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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