??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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