I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She even gives head with a lisp.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Randomize
