Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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