you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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