okay pat passed out under dana's car
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
