He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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