One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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