I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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