so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
