he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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