i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
