I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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