We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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