Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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