I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
