ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He did a backflip because drugs
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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