his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
