I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
