its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
