i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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