you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
