but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
