the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
dude. I can hear the air.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
