So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The beer is more important than you right now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
