Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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