sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
