when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize