Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
