If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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