i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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