oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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