DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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