i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
