Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
