peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
