Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize