i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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