never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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