well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
