i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
