Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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