we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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