No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
