U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
