She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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