is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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