Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
