I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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