i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
