Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
